Friday, December 28, 2007

Crap Shoot, er, Count

Let me just start with the fact that I love my kids. I really do. Life changing experience, etc etc.

However....I'd never thought I spend so much time thinking about shit. And I mean true blue (well in this case brown) shit.

When they are babies its all about the poop, which is okay, because it doesn't really smell and its still a novelty. Then they start eating real food and it starts to stink. My 3 year old can tell when her 1 year old sister has pooped from across the room, "Mommy, she pooped! She's a stinker!"

And her words are accurate so I can't really say, "oh thats not nice"....because, lets face it, shit stinks.

By the time the kid is two you are figuring out ways to avoid changing a shit laden diaper. My favorite is telling my daughter to go give Daddy a hug. Which my husband thinks is so cute that his daughter is *spontaneously* hugging him. Then he breathes in....yikes!

Then when you are potty training them, it is a strange turn in emotion. Perhaps some of a my proudest moments have been seeing a log of shit floating in the toilet. I literally feel myself beaming with pride.

Let's pause here and think about that. Shit makes me beam with pride. Parenthood is really twisted.

My oldest is now 3, which by my calculations, means that I have probably handled over a 1,000 of her craps. I feel like I should hang a sign up on the front door....

Family McChung
Proudly Handling over a 1,000 pieces of shit


This is why I am against a dog or cat. At least with kids there is an end to the shit handling. I don't think you can potty train a dog.

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