My younger daughter just recently turned 18 months and I am completely in love with her. I mean completely.
She says Mommy just enough times to remind me that she loves me but not too much so it starts sounding like nails on a chalkboard.
She gives kisses and hugs upon command.
I ask her to lay down to change her diaper and she does.
Her vocabulary is just enough so she can communicate, but can't argue.
When we ask her what sound a duck makes, she walks around the house quacking for the next 10 minutes.
She sits in front of the TV with perfect posture.
I tell her its time to go to bed and she starts walking upstairs.
She is compliant and cute and wonderful.
And this, my friends, is the trick. How many people do you know that have kids a little more than two years apart? Get it ...18 + 9 = a little more than two years. This is the age when the reproduction hormones start sucking you in...
But not me, oh no. I'm done! It's over! This store is closed. So stop hugging, kissing, listening and being cute because its not going to work. You're not getting a younger sibling...not now anyways...
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
On the job training -- known in the biz as "OJT"
Lately I've been thinking a lot about all the skills I am picking up being a mom. I am sure the list is endless, but here are some creative jobs that I think motherhood prepares you for. (Keep in mind, that I am in Human Resources and most of that time was in recruiting, so clearly I am qualified to make the following suggestions.)
Peace negotiator Last week I made the suggestion that my three year old clean her room. This is what I will call a "strategic error". But like many professionals before me, I learned my lessons. Clearly making this suggestion at 7:30 at night was not wise, she is clearly vulnerable at this time. However, as many moms can attest, once you suggest/demand something you cannot give in. And so it began...the crying, the rolling on the floor and general carrying on. Consider this as analogous to a stand off. She cries and cries and then suddenly pulls herself together to say, "are those new pajamas?" Referring to the pajamas that I put her sister in. I answer then the crying continues. Finally, 20 minutes later we are in her room cleaning up. If I can do this a couple times a week, how hard could the Middle East situation be?
Janitor Not only could I do this job, but I could also give some tips. For instance, don't clean up right away. I know, it sounds strange, but its a lot easier to clean up rice and mac and cheese off the floor after they have sat on the floor overnight and dried up. Sure, there might be some ants, but so what. The time savings is totally worth it.
Fish Monger Nothing was as priceless as the scene I witnessed a couple weeks ago. We were having a precious family outing. Neighborhood outdoor concert, picnic dinner, kids playing with other kids -- it was right out of a Rockfeller painting, blah blah. Then the three year old turns to her father and points at him and says "here Dad". There is something on her finger. Its long, its gooey and its green. Oh, yes, thats right, its a big fat booger. I am still laughing thinking about it. He panics, looks at me as though he has seen a ghost, looks back at her, "what is that?" Who has time to analyze it -- just get it with a napkin. For the love of God, in these times, its all about action. He's paralyzed in fear, I jump over and swoop it up before the entire town sees the booger. Hence, my comfort with such yucky things would probably make me comfortable with fish guts too.
I think thats it for now. I'll let you know what else I come up with....
Peace negotiator Last week I made the suggestion that my three year old clean her room. This is what I will call a "strategic error". But like many professionals before me, I learned my lessons. Clearly making this suggestion at 7:30 at night was not wise, she is clearly vulnerable at this time. However, as many moms can attest, once you suggest/demand something you cannot give in. And so it began...the crying, the rolling on the floor and general carrying on. Consider this as analogous to a stand off. She cries and cries and then suddenly pulls herself together to say, "are those new pajamas?" Referring to the pajamas that I put her sister in. I answer then the crying continues. Finally, 20 minutes later we are in her room cleaning up. If I can do this a couple times a week, how hard could the Middle East situation be?
Janitor Not only could I do this job, but I could also give some tips. For instance, don't clean up right away. I know, it sounds strange, but its a lot easier to clean up rice and mac and cheese off the floor after they have sat on the floor overnight and dried up. Sure, there might be some ants, but so what. The time savings is totally worth it.
Fish Monger Nothing was as priceless as the scene I witnessed a couple weeks ago. We were having a precious family outing. Neighborhood outdoor concert, picnic dinner, kids playing with other kids -- it was right out of a Rockfeller painting, blah blah. Then the three year old turns to her father and points at him and says "here Dad". There is something on her finger. Its long, its gooey and its green. Oh, yes, thats right, its a big fat booger. I am still laughing thinking about it. He panics, looks at me as though he has seen a ghost, looks back at her, "what is that?" Who has time to analyze it -- just get it with a napkin. For the love of God, in these times, its all about action. He's paralyzed in fear, I jump over and swoop it up before the entire town sees the booger. Hence, my comfort with such yucky things would probably make me comfortable with fish guts too.
I think thats it for now. I'll let you know what else I come up with....
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