Happy Mother's Day, here's a cheerio

On Mother's Day I cleaned out my car.

Odd as it sounds, it was actually a rare 30 minutes when I felt I had the time to actually clean the car, and not worry about a million other things -- so I was actually excited to do it.

Since I am the kid chauffeur, my car is ...disgusting. It is a compost pile. For the most part it doesn't smell bad, but some times it does.

I create this mess....Every morning the kids have a snack as we go to school. The containers of the aforementioned snack go on the floor, because by the time we get to school I am in fully focused on getting both out of the car, into their classes as soon as humanly possible.

"Hurry up, Mom has an 8 o'clock with Europe!"
"What's Europe's last name? Is Europe a boy or a girl?"
"Just hurry up!"

At pick up there is another snack, and then of course the papers that they give you every day -- all of which ends up on the floor. Keep in mind that number 2 is only 18 months, so her snack usually ends up 50% on the floor anyways. Her hand to mouth completion rate is not that great. Then number 2 loves to take off her socks and shoes. And jacket.

Add to this mess my purse, gym bag and my work bag and its a disaster. (And I wonder why there are bits of cheerios in my designer purse...)

Then times that by five and that's what my car is exposed to on a weekly basis.

Ironically, I felt that cleaning out was the perfect thing to do on Mother's Day...this car, and the abuse we put it through is symbolic of the crazy life of a mom. It may smell bad, but I have to power through. It maybe filled with crap, but it still runs. It's chaos, but its my chaos.

DND

Do you ever wish that you could hang a "Do Not Disturb" sign on your life? You know, just a break. A ten minute, twenty minute...okay 30 second break, where you could catch you breath and think.

Two weeks ago I had a horrible week with the three year old. She was just so whiny and unhappy with every move I made, it was just so frustrating. A few times, I just walked away from her, because I just couldn't deal, but I was still brewing inside. I am not good at compartmentalizing these sort of things...they eat away at me, until i break...and that breaking point is not pretty. I would have loved from time to freeze for three minutes, and all goes quiet and I can go outside breathe in fresh air and just...collect myself. This thought is a fantasy, but I'll hold on to it...

The other night the husband was rambling to me about his day. I personally had quite a day. I am in the middle of transitioning to a new job. All day I am overloaded with new acronyms, new people and new businesses that I do not understand. Its like the first weeks of college, minus the drinking...Anywoo, I have been so exhausted at night. My mind is just mush. As he's telling me his tales of woe, all I can think is....please be quiet. At that moment, I wanted my "do not disturb" sign, so I could just continue reading my girlie magazine and give my brain the time it needed to decompress.

A few weeks ago, I traveled for work and I got a break. Problem was, I didn't need it. I was in the car by myself, in the hotel by myself, but the whole time thinking, "it's so quiet. shouldn't I be doing something more?" At that time I didn't need the break, but I had the time. It's the irony, like Murphy's Law...when you don't need something you get it. When you need five minutes to yourself, you can barely get time to pee. Aaah, life.

Do you think saying, "Calgon, take me away" works?

Do you think admitting that I remember that commercial reveals my age?

aaah, life.

Busy my ass

The past couple of weeks I have been trying to avoid saying the words, "I've been really busy" This is usually in response to the question of "what's new?" or "what have you been up to?". I hate this notion of busy-ness. As if we are required to be busy.

What if someone answered one of those questions by saying, "oh, I've been sitting around staring at a blank wall for weeks" ??? No one says that. You almost like you have to say you've been busy, even if you've been sitting around playing on your Wii, you've been busy.

But I guess that's really everyone's definition of busy. In college I was really "busy".... drinking, smoking, and procrastinating. Right now, I'm really busy too...obviously...blogging, watching Noggin, and having a "sleepover" with my three year old.

I really hate it when someone says they haven't called or done something because they've been busy. Um, yeah, we're all busy, even the person playing the Wii. It's just that you chose not to do it! Which is fine. Thats fine that you chose not to call me over having a nice dinner with your husband. It's fine that you haven't cleaned your kitchen because you'd rather watch The Hills. I get it, we all do it. You make choices and you have to...

I guess we could all be busier. But personally, I like being lazy. I need my 30 minutes of surfing the internet and then my TV time. I could be doing laundry or emailing or something mildly productive -- but I just don't want to be doing something all the time!

I guess the thing I hate about the "busy" response is that its become so generic, it doesn't really reveal any information. It is now the "I'm good" response that really tells you nothing about the status of some one's life or mental health or general well being.

So, next time someone asks what you've been up to -- I implore you -- don't say you've been busy! Give them a nugget, a peek into your life..."I've been a total coach potato this week", "Kid #1 has been sick, so I've been totally occupied", "I've been planning this party and its taking over my life!"

Hmm, I need to think about what other generic things we say that really mean nothing...