Had to put this out there....
My older daughter loves playing pretend kitchen, especially in the bath. She is usually making me a cup of coffee in the bath.
A few days ago, she was making me something and asked, "Mom, do you like juicy nuts???"
Y0u can't make this stuff up.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Freedom is Here
The husband got a new job. For most folks this would not be so life changing, but for me it is.
He got his current job when our oldest was just five months old, and it really changed our lives.
He would typically leave the house around 5 am and get home around 8 pm. When the kids were infants, he would go the whole week with out seeing them.
I was basically a single mom, Monday through Thursday. I didn't mind, but it just created an odd division of labor in the house. He got them ready for school maybe 10 times in three years. Picked them up maybe 12 times in that time, primarily due to me having to travel for work. When I did have to travel for work, it was if the world stopped. Everything was out of wack.
My life was limited too -- I avoided business trips, I never went out during the week without the kids -- I think I went once and got a sitter. Never went to the grocery store during the week. I had to squeeze my whole life in between 7 am and 6:30 pm -- when the girls were in daycare.
After #2 was born, and she started moving, I needed help. We hired someone to come over a few nights a week to help me clean up and do laundry and watch the kids. This is when the husband really got some relief. When he did walk in at 8:30, I didn't have to ask him to clean up or move laundry or any of that. Lets face it, he had it easy at home.
Now, things change. He will work normal hours and have an extra 4 hours a day -- less commuting time and less time at his desk. I think he is in a little bit of shock. He isn't quite sure what he will do with this time. That makes me cackle like the evil witch that I am...Don't worry, I say, there will be plenty for you to do.
Just yesterday, I saw him folding laundry for the first time in years...I think a little tear came to my eye.
Leaving the sarcasm behind, it will be nice for us to have family dinners all the time, not just on weekends. And the kids will love having him around more. And me, yeah, I like him too -- It will be good to see him more than an hour a day.
He got his current job when our oldest was just five months old, and it really changed our lives.
He would typically leave the house around 5 am and get home around 8 pm. When the kids were infants, he would go the whole week with out seeing them.
I was basically a single mom, Monday through Thursday. I didn't mind, but it just created an odd division of labor in the house. He got them ready for school maybe 10 times in three years. Picked them up maybe 12 times in that time, primarily due to me having to travel for work. When I did have to travel for work, it was if the world stopped. Everything was out of wack.
My life was limited too -- I avoided business trips, I never went out during the week without the kids -- I think I went once and got a sitter. Never went to the grocery store during the week. I had to squeeze my whole life in between 7 am and 6:30 pm -- when the girls were in daycare.
After #2 was born, and she started moving, I needed help. We hired someone to come over a few nights a week to help me clean up and do laundry and watch the kids. This is when the husband really got some relief. When he did walk in at 8:30, I didn't have to ask him to clean up or move laundry or any of that. Lets face it, he had it easy at home.
Now, things change. He will work normal hours and have an extra 4 hours a day -- less commuting time and less time at his desk. I think he is in a little bit of shock. He isn't quite sure what he will do with this time. That makes me cackle like the evil witch that I am...Don't worry, I say, there will be plenty for you to do.
Just yesterday, I saw him folding laundry for the first time in years...I think a little tear came to my eye.
Leaving the sarcasm behind, it will be nice for us to have family dinners all the time, not just on weekends. And the kids will love having him around more. And me, yeah, I like him too -- It will be good to see him more than an hour a day.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Bye Bye Crack House
We have a history in our family. A history of living right on the edge of the bad neighborhood.
When we first lived together in DC, we were always very careful in giving directions, to make sure people approached the apartment from the good side of town. Two blocks the wrong way, and you were locking the doors and putting your hand on your purse.
In Boston, we had a cute condo -- our first "home" -- it was in an "up and coming" area....i.e. an area that was slowly being gentrified and taken over by yuppies like us. We carefully steered our visitors to ensure they didn't see the blocks that had yet to be absconded.
When we moved to New Jersey, it seemed likely that we could finally break this curse. I mean, what kind of ghetto could there be in small town New Jersey?
Luckily for us, we next to the only ghetto house in town.
When we first moved in, our neighbor was a 98 year old woman -- Mabel -- who had lived there for....wait for it....SEVENTY years. That's right! She moved in during the depression!
The house is actually "interesting"...The whole house is only about 12 1/2 feet wide. I know this because my mother once went out there and measured it.
Since we moved in, Mabel spent less and less time there, I mean she was 98 for god's sake, she wasn't really focused on home maintainence. Then a few years back she put it on the market.
This tiny house sold in about a week, creating a bidding war, driving the price up 50%! Hilarious. It is practically falling over, but yet people are creating crazy demand.
Anywoo, a local guy and his wife bought it. He came over in the first couple of weeks and introduced himself. He told us he was going to remodel the whole thing and make it a house for his in-laws so they could be close by. Seemingly a good idea, but the house was still only 12 1/2 feet wide, and that wasn't changing.
The first few weekends after he closed, he was in there, sweating, ripping out walls and getting in touch with his inner HGTV genes. I would say by month three he stopped coming by. Then it was winter, then it was summer, then there was a "for sale" sign...
Mind you this whole time, the house is literally falling apart...cement & brick dislodging from the chimney, windows cracked, siding coming off the side, birds clearly making a home inside....All this within 10 feet of my door! lovely....
The house was for sale for another year. They originally put it on the market for MORE than they bought it for, which is just funny b.c. they did nothing to it and actually in the time that they owned it, they found out how bad the inside was.
Finally, this past spring someone bought it. He has slowly been making progress. He took the siding off, so now I look at just plywood. All summer its been quite easy to give directions to my house, "go down Main street, and I'm right next to the crack house." Amazingly, people never have a problem finding our house.
Here's the view from my side door (that's my car/driveway. The house next to the crack house is new, btw. It took a year to build, six months of that year there was just a hole in the ground.)
And today he cut down all the trees in the back yard so he can extend the house. This bums me out b.c. we now have ZERO shade in the backyard and we're in a heat wave and I have 30 people coming over tomorrow for a bbq. BUT, at least soon it will all be over. Won't it? Please say yes.
When we first lived together in DC, we were always very careful in giving directions, to make sure people approached the apartment from the good side of town. Two blocks the wrong way, and you were locking the doors and putting your hand on your purse.
In Boston, we had a cute condo -- our first "home" -- it was in an "up and coming" area....i.e. an area that was slowly being gentrified and taken over by yuppies like us. We carefully steered our visitors to ensure they didn't see the blocks that had yet to be absconded.
When we moved to New Jersey, it seemed likely that we could finally break this curse. I mean, what kind of ghetto could there be in small town New Jersey?
Luckily for us, we next to the only ghetto house in town.
When we first moved in, our neighbor was a 98 year old woman -- Mabel -- who had lived there for....wait for it....SEVENTY years. That's right! She moved in during the depression!
The house is actually "interesting"...The whole house is only about 12 1/2 feet wide. I know this because my mother once went out there and measured it.
Since we moved in, Mabel spent less and less time there, I mean she was 98 for god's sake, she wasn't really focused on home maintainence. Then a few years back she put it on the market.
This tiny house sold in about a week, creating a bidding war, driving the price up 50%! Hilarious. It is practically falling over, but yet people are creating crazy demand.
Anywoo, a local guy and his wife bought it. He came over in the first couple of weeks and introduced himself. He told us he was going to remodel the whole thing and make it a house for his in-laws so they could be close by. Seemingly a good idea, but the house was still only 12 1/2 feet wide, and that wasn't changing.
The first few weekends after he closed, he was in there, sweating, ripping out walls and getting in touch with his inner HGTV genes. I would say by month three he stopped coming by. Then it was winter, then it was summer, then there was a "for sale" sign...
Mind you this whole time, the house is literally falling apart...cement & brick dislodging from the chimney, windows cracked, siding coming off the side, birds clearly making a home inside....All this within 10 feet of my door! lovely....
The house was for sale for another year. They originally put it on the market for MORE than they bought it for, which is just funny b.c. they did nothing to it and actually in the time that they owned it, they found out how bad the inside was.
Finally, this past spring someone bought it. He has slowly been making progress. He took the siding off, so now I look at just plywood. All summer its been quite easy to give directions to my house, "go down Main street, and I'm right next to the crack house." Amazingly, people never have a problem finding our house.
Here's the view from my side door (that's my car/driveway. The house next to the crack house is new, btw. It took a year to build, six months of that year there was just a hole in the ground.)
And today he cut down all the trees in the back yard so he can extend the house. This bums me out b.c. we now have ZERO shade in the backyard and we're in a heat wave and I have 30 people coming over tomorrow for a bbq. BUT, at least soon it will all be over. Won't it? Please say yes.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
I'm not falling for this trick again...
My younger daughter just recently turned 18 months and I am completely in love with her. I mean completely.
She says Mommy just enough times to remind me that she loves me but not too much so it starts sounding like nails on a chalkboard.
She gives kisses and hugs upon command.
I ask her to lay down to change her diaper and she does.
Her vocabulary is just enough so she can communicate, but can't argue.
When we ask her what sound a duck makes, she walks around the house quacking for the next 10 minutes.
She sits in front of the TV with perfect posture.
I tell her its time to go to bed and she starts walking upstairs.
She is compliant and cute and wonderful.
And this, my friends, is the trick. How many people do you know that have kids a little more than two years apart? Get it ...18 + 9 = a little more than two years. This is the age when the reproduction hormones start sucking you in...
But not me, oh no. I'm done! It's over! This store is closed. So stop hugging, kissing, listening and being cute because its not going to work. You're not getting a younger sibling...not now anyways...
She says Mommy just enough times to remind me that she loves me but not too much so it starts sounding like nails on a chalkboard.
She gives kisses and hugs upon command.
I ask her to lay down to change her diaper and she does.
Her vocabulary is just enough so she can communicate, but can't argue.
When we ask her what sound a duck makes, she walks around the house quacking for the next 10 minutes.
She sits in front of the TV with perfect posture.
I tell her its time to go to bed and she starts walking upstairs.
She is compliant and cute and wonderful.
And this, my friends, is the trick. How many people do you know that have kids a little more than two years apart? Get it ...18 + 9 = a little more than two years. This is the age when the reproduction hormones start sucking you in...
But not me, oh no. I'm done! It's over! This store is closed. So stop hugging, kissing, listening and being cute because its not going to work. You're not getting a younger sibling...not now anyways...
Monday, June 9, 2008
On the job training -- known in the biz as "OJT"
Lately I've been thinking a lot about all the skills I am picking up being a mom. I am sure the list is endless, but here are some creative jobs that I think motherhood prepares you for. (Keep in mind, that I am in Human Resources and most of that time was in recruiting, so clearly I am qualified to make the following suggestions.)
Peace negotiator Last week I made the suggestion that my three year old clean her room. This is what I will call a "strategic error". But like many professionals before me, I learned my lessons. Clearly making this suggestion at 7:30 at night was not wise, she is clearly vulnerable at this time. However, as many moms can attest, once you suggest/demand something you cannot give in. And so it began...the crying, the rolling on the floor and general carrying on. Consider this as analogous to a stand off. She cries and cries and then suddenly pulls herself together to say, "are those new pajamas?" Referring to the pajamas that I put her sister in. I answer then the crying continues. Finally, 20 minutes later we are in her room cleaning up. If I can do this a couple times a week, how hard could the Middle East situation be?
Janitor Not only could I do this job, but I could also give some tips. For instance, don't clean up right away. I know, it sounds strange, but its a lot easier to clean up rice and mac and cheese off the floor after they have sat on the floor overnight and dried up. Sure, there might be some ants, but so what. The time savings is totally worth it.
Fish Monger Nothing was as priceless as the scene I witnessed a couple weeks ago. We were having a precious family outing. Neighborhood outdoor concert, picnic dinner, kids playing with other kids -- it was right out of a Rockfeller painting, blah blah. Then the three year old turns to her father and points at him and says "here Dad". There is something on her finger. Its long, its gooey and its green. Oh, yes, thats right, its a big fat booger. I am still laughing thinking about it. He panics, looks at me as though he has seen a ghost, looks back at her, "what is that?" Who has time to analyze it -- just get it with a napkin. For the love of God, in these times, its all about action. He's paralyzed in fear, I jump over and swoop it up before the entire town sees the booger. Hence, my comfort with such yucky things would probably make me comfortable with fish guts too.
I think thats it for now. I'll let you know what else I come up with....
Peace negotiator Last week I made the suggestion that my three year old clean her room. This is what I will call a "strategic error". But like many professionals before me, I learned my lessons. Clearly making this suggestion at 7:30 at night was not wise, she is clearly vulnerable at this time. However, as many moms can attest, once you suggest/demand something you cannot give in. And so it began...the crying, the rolling on the floor and general carrying on. Consider this as analogous to a stand off. She cries and cries and then suddenly pulls herself together to say, "are those new pajamas?" Referring to the pajamas that I put her sister in. I answer then the crying continues. Finally, 20 minutes later we are in her room cleaning up. If I can do this a couple times a week, how hard could the Middle East situation be?
Janitor Not only could I do this job, but I could also give some tips. For instance, don't clean up right away. I know, it sounds strange, but its a lot easier to clean up rice and mac and cheese off the floor after they have sat on the floor overnight and dried up. Sure, there might be some ants, but so what. The time savings is totally worth it.
Fish Monger Nothing was as priceless as the scene I witnessed a couple weeks ago. We were having a precious family outing. Neighborhood outdoor concert, picnic dinner, kids playing with other kids -- it was right out of a Rockfeller painting, blah blah. Then the three year old turns to her father and points at him and says "here Dad". There is something on her finger. Its long, its gooey and its green. Oh, yes, thats right, its a big fat booger. I am still laughing thinking about it. He panics, looks at me as though he has seen a ghost, looks back at her, "what is that?" Who has time to analyze it -- just get it with a napkin. For the love of God, in these times, its all about action. He's paralyzed in fear, I jump over and swoop it up before the entire town sees the booger. Hence, my comfort with such yucky things would probably make me comfortable with fish guts too.
I think thats it for now. I'll let you know what else I come up with....
Friday, May 16, 2008
Happy Mother's Day, here's a cheerio
On Mother's Day I cleaned out my car.
Odd as it sounds, it was actually a rare 30 minutes when I felt I had the time to actually clean the car, and not worry about a million other things -- so I was actually excited to do it.
Since I am the kid chauffeur, my car is ...disgusting. It is a compost pile. For the most part it doesn't smell bad, but some times it does.
I create this mess....Every morning the kids have a snack as we go to school. The containers of the aforementioned snack go on the floor, because by the time we get to school I am in fully focused on getting both out of the car, into their classes as soon as humanly possible.
"Hurry up, Mom has an 8 o'clock with Europe!"
"What's Europe's last name? Is Europe a boy or a girl?"
"Just hurry up!"
At pick up there is another snack, and then of course the papers that they give you every day -- all of which ends up on the floor. Keep in mind that number 2 is only 18 months, so her snack usually ends up 50% on the floor anyways. Her hand to mouth completion rate is not that great. Then number 2 loves to take off her socks and shoes. And jacket.
Add to this mess my purse, gym bag and my work bag and its a disaster. (And I wonder why there are bits of cheerios in my designer purse...)
Then times that by five and that's what my car is exposed to on a weekly basis.
Ironically, I felt that cleaning out was the perfect thing to do on Mother's Day...this car, and the abuse we put it through is symbolic of the crazy life of a mom. It may smell bad, but I have to power through. It maybe filled with crap, but it still runs. It's chaos, but its my chaos.
Odd as it sounds, it was actually a rare 30 minutes when I felt I had the time to actually clean the car, and not worry about a million other things -- so I was actually excited to do it.
Since I am the kid chauffeur, my car is ...disgusting. It is a compost pile. For the most part it doesn't smell bad, but some times it does.
I create this mess....Every morning the kids have a snack as we go to school. The containers of the aforementioned snack go on the floor, because by the time we get to school I am in fully focused on getting both out of the car, into their classes as soon as humanly possible.
"Hurry up, Mom has an 8 o'clock with Europe!"
"What's Europe's last name? Is Europe a boy or a girl?"
"Just hurry up!"
At pick up there is another snack, and then of course the papers that they give you every day -- all of which ends up on the floor. Keep in mind that number 2 is only 18 months, so her snack usually ends up 50% on the floor anyways. Her hand to mouth completion rate is not that great. Then number 2 loves to take off her socks and shoes. And jacket.
Add to this mess my purse, gym bag and my work bag and its a disaster. (And I wonder why there are bits of cheerios in my designer purse...)
Then times that by five and that's what my car is exposed to on a weekly basis.
Ironically, I felt that cleaning out was the perfect thing to do on Mother's Day...this car, and the abuse we put it through is symbolic of the crazy life of a mom. It may smell bad, but I have to power through. It maybe filled with crap, but it still runs. It's chaos, but its my chaos.
Friday, May 9, 2008
DND
Do you ever wish that you could hang a "Do Not Disturb" sign on your life? You know, just a break. A ten minute, twenty minute...okay 30 second break, where you could catch you breath and think.
Two weeks ago I had a horrible week with the three year old. She was just so whiny and unhappy with every move I made, it was just so frustrating. A few times, I just walked away from her, because I just couldn't deal, but I was still brewing inside. I am not good at compartmentalizing these sort of things...they eat away at me, until i break...and that breaking point is not pretty. I would have loved from time to freeze for three minutes, and all goes quiet and I can go outside breathe in fresh air and just...collect myself. This thought is a fantasy, but I'll hold on to it...
The other night the husband was rambling to me about his day. I personally had quite a day. I am in the middle of transitioning to a new job. All day I am overloaded with new acronyms, new people and new businesses that I do not understand. Its like the first weeks of college, minus the drinking...Anywoo, I have been so exhausted at night. My mind is just mush. As he's telling me his tales of woe, all I can think is....please be quiet. At that moment, I wanted my "do not disturb" sign, so I could just continue reading my girlie magazine and give my brain the time it needed to decompress.
A few weeks ago, I traveled for work and I got a break. Problem was, I didn't need it. I was in the car by myself, in the hotel by myself, but the whole time thinking, "it's so quiet. shouldn't I be doing something more?" At that time I didn't need the break, but I had the time. It's the irony, like Murphy's Law...when you don't need something you get it. When you need five minutes to yourself, you can barely get time to pee. Aaah, life.
Do you think saying, "Calgon, take me away" works?
Do you think admitting that I remember that commercial reveals my age?
aaah, life.
Two weeks ago I had a horrible week with the three year old. She was just so whiny and unhappy with every move I made, it was just so frustrating. A few times, I just walked away from her, because I just couldn't deal, but I was still brewing inside. I am not good at compartmentalizing these sort of things...they eat away at me, until i break...and that breaking point is not pretty. I would have loved from time to freeze for three minutes, and all goes quiet and I can go outside breathe in fresh air and just...collect myself. This thought is a fantasy, but I'll hold on to it...
The other night the husband was rambling to me about his day. I personally had quite a day. I am in the middle of transitioning to a new job. All day I am overloaded with new acronyms, new people and new businesses that I do not understand. Its like the first weeks of college, minus the drinking...Anywoo, I have been so exhausted at night. My mind is just mush. As he's telling me his tales of woe, all I can think is....please be quiet. At that moment, I wanted my "do not disturb" sign, so I could just continue reading my girlie magazine and give my brain the time it needed to decompress.
A few weeks ago, I traveled for work and I got a break. Problem was, I didn't need it. I was in the car by myself, in the hotel by myself, but the whole time thinking, "it's so quiet. shouldn't I be doing something more?" At that time I didn't need the break, but I had the time. It's the irony, like Murphy's Law...when you don't need something you get it. When you need five minutes to yourself, you can barely get time to pee. Aaah, life.
Do you think saying, "Calgon, take me away" works?
Do you think admitting that I remember that commercial reveals my age?
aaah, life.
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